What Sinister Forces Murdered All These U.S. Presidents – The Awl

Whathappenswhenacandidatewinsthepresidentialraceandgetsthatfirsttop-levelsecuritybriefingintheOvalOffice?

ThecomedianBillHickshadaprettygoodidea,whichheexplainednotlongafterBillClintonwasinaugurated。

“Nomatterwhatyoupromiseonthecampaigntrail,”Hickssaidina1993routine,“whenyouwin,yougointothissmoke-filledroomwiththe12industrialistcapitalistscum-fuckswhogotyouinthere。

Andyou’reinthissmokyroom,andthislittlefilmscreencomesdown,andabigguywithacigargoes,‘Rollthefilm。

’Andit’sashotoftheKennedyassassinationfromanangleyou’veneverseenbefore…Andthenthescreengoesupandthelightscomeup,andtheysaytothenewpresident,‘Anyquestions?

’”

It’shardtofindaliberalAmericanwhodidn’tsuspectsomethingalongtheselinesafterObamatookofficefouryearsago。

AtleastRepublicanpresidentstrytodoobnoxiousright-wingthingslikedrillingforoilintheskullsofbabypolarbearsandcancelingSocialSecurity。

DemocratslikeObamaandClintonseemtobeembarrassedbytheirownsupporters。

It’sthereasonwhyDemocratsweresosurprisedandjoyfulafterMonday’ssecond-terminauguralspeech?

—?

Obamasaidliberalthings,almostlikehebelieved?

them!

Evenwithoutconspiraciesandthedeepestsecretsofthenation,it’snoteasytogovernfromtheexecutivebranch。

WithadeliberatelyobstructionistHouseofRepresentatives,it’salmostimpossible。

IllegalwarsandconstantdroneattacksseemtobetheonlythingstheObamaAdministrationcandowithimpunity,andthosearethingsCongresswouldgenerallyapproveofanyway,giventhechance。

Still,aconspiracyiscomfortingbecauseitexplainsawaysomeofthedisappointmentofreallife。

Obamawouldstopwarsandshutdownfrackingandmakemarijuanalegalandensureabortionclinicsoperatedineverystateunderfederalprotection,ifonlythosebastardsdidn’thavehimbytheballs。

Playbytheirrules,oryoursemenonanintern’sbluedressmakesthefrontpageofeverynewspaper,oryourbrainsgetsprayedalloveryourwife’sfancypink?

dress。

Therecordisn’tverygood:Eightpresidentshavediedinoffice,fourbyanassassin’sgun,fourothersbyillnessandevensuspectedpoisoning。

Notincludingthosewhoweresuccessfullykilledbyassassins,another13presidentswerethetargetoffailedattempts?

—?

ofthose,RonaldReaganwasrepeatedlyshotinthechestbutsurvived。

Onepresidentresignedbeforehecouldbeimpeached。

Anothertwowereimpeachedbutremainedin?

office。

Politicalconspiraciescanseemlikemoderninventions,becauseoftheInternetandtalkradio,butthereareconspiraciesattachedtoeveryattemptonanAmericanpresident’slife,datingallthewaybacktothefirstpresidenttodieinoffice,in1841。

HerearefourstrangetalesbehindthesuspiciousdeathsoffourAmericanpresidentsnobodyreallytalksaboutanymore,becausethey’vebeendeadforsolongandaren’tespeciallywellrememberedtoday。

ThesearenottheAbrahamLincolnsandFranklinRoosevelts,becausetheseareHistory’sLosers:

WilliamHenryHarrison:Heservedonly31daysinofficebeforedyingofpneumoniain1841。

That’swhat?

they

wantyoutobelieve,anyway。

OthersourcessaynolessaglobalsuperpowerthantheIlluminatipoisonedHarrison,throughsomeremarkablycomplexarrangementwithaMardiGrassocialgroupcalledtheMysticKreweofComus,whichwasapparentlystartedasafrontgroupfortheConfederacyandYale’sSkullandBonesfraternity。

HarrisonwaskilledbythesecleverracistsbecauseheallegedlyplannedtoblocktheadmissionofCaliforniaandTexastotheunionasslave-holdingstates。

ZacharyTaylor:Harrisonwasn’ttheonlyonekilledoffbythepro-slaveryIlluminaticonspiracy。

ZacharyTaylor’sallegedpoisoningwastakenseriouslyenoughthathisremainswereexhumedin1991,fromtheNationalCemeteryinLouisville,andtestedforarsenicpoisoning。

Theresultswereinconclusive,butthesuspectedreasonforhisassassinationwasthesameasHarrison’s:“becauseofhisoppositiontotheextensionofslaverytoWestern?

states。



JamesGarfieldwasshotbyCharlesGuiteauinfrontofmanywitnesses。

Guiteaushoutedashewaswrestledtotheground,“IamaStalwartoftheStalwartsandArthurwillbePresident!

”ChesterA。

Arthur,acompromisechoiceforvicepresidentontheGarfieldticket,wasindeedamemberoftheStalwarts?

—?

anold-fashionedgroupofbankersandinsiderswhowishedtokeeppowerinWashington。

AfterGarfielddiedofhiswoundsjustthreemonthsaftertakingtheoathofoffice,Arthurdidindeedbecomepresident。

Andthebankerscontinuetorun?

America。

WilliamMcKinleywasalsoshotbyanassassininthesummerofhissecondterm,onSeptember6,1901。

Ananarchist,LeonCzolgosz,gottoMcKinleyduringthepresident’striptotheWorld’sFairinBuffalo。

Anarchistswerecommonlyblamedforsuchactsattheturnofthecentury,becausetheysometimescommittedsuchcrimes。

ButwhatwastherealreasonfortheshootingofMcKinleywithinthe“TempleofMusic”atthePan-AmericanExpositioninNewYorkState?

McKinley’sfirstvicepresidenthaddiedinoffice,andwasreplacedforthesecondtermbyanambitiousyoungpoliticiannamedTheodoreRoosevelt,whobecameaMasonafewmonthsbeforetheshootinginBuffalo,andwhowouldbecomeaverypowerfulRepublicanpresidentafterMcKinleywasoutoftheway。

Therewerealsocursesandparanormalsomething-or-othersinvolved,andamysteriousItalianwhodistractedMcKinley’ssecuritymenattheworld’s?

fair!

WarrenG。

HardingdiedinSanFranciscoafterbecomingillduringatouroftheWest’sbestplacestodrillforoil。

HewasincrediblycorruptandwasbestknownfortheTeapotDomescandal,whichwaslike9/11andSoylndracombined。

Hiswifemight’vepoisonedhim,becauseheconstantlyhadaffairsandalsotookpartincrazypaganorgies。

Hewasalsomaybeanoctoroon,whichmeanshemayhavebeentherealfirstAfrican-Americanpresident。


bckbet官方下载_bck体育官网_bck体育